What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

How do you feel cockroach?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Why are terrible, boring art pieces done by famous people worth so much while beautiful pieces done by amateurs are worthless?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

What do you typically do while on meth?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Have you ever really seen aliens or UFOs by yourself? Can you share your experience?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Why can't my adopted sister accept she is not part of my family because she isn't related? Why can't she stop calling my parents mum and dad?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

What is the irony of life according to you?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Are miracles real or do they just have natural explanations?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

What pleasure do guys get by sucking female breasts?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Make Nazis afraid again!

Are there any queer Space Marine Legion in Warhammer 30k or 40k?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

What are some questions obviously just asked for sexual gratification?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

TEXT:

Why is my crush beautiful to me but not to others?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …